Whether you’ve just moved to a new town or you’ve been living in the same city for years, it’s not uncommon for you to feel alone while being surrounded by people. In fact, a 2024 study by the American Psychiatric Association states that around 30% of people have experienced feelings of loneliness every week for the last year. If this is the case for you, and you have no idea where to start, there are multiple ways to meet like-minded people in your community, especially if you’re lonely and queer. It doesn’t have to be this way; there are a myriad of opportunities out there. Let’s take a look at a few.

1. Social Apps

When most people think of social meet-up apps such as Tinder or Bumble, their first thought is usually not “I’m going to use this app to make friends.” However, some of these apps have specific features and settings that you can apply to your account to only match with people who are looking for platonic relationships. Additionally, apps such as Lex exist specifically for members of the LGBTQ+ community to meet each other and make friends. There are settings on here to meet 100% online friends, as well as schedule in-person meetups in your city.

2. Queer Social Groups

Many larger cities have queer-only social groups on social media platforms such as Facebook and Reddit. Usually, all it takes to find them is a simple search. Many of these communities are private and require you to join and be approved by a moderator, but this is primarily to keep everyone safe from those intending to join them only to do harm to the community. Usually, these groups have spaces to interact with several people at once on a public platform, as well as opportunities to privately kindle one-on-one friendships. Try Facebook, Reddit, and my personal fave – Meetup.com

3. Attend LGBTQ+ Events

If you’re looking to meet people face-to-face in your own city or hometown, attending LGBTQ+ events are one of the quickest and easiest ways to meet new people with shared interests. Strike up conversations and swap numbers to plan meet-ups later on. Many cities have designated sober cafes, gay bars and clubs which cater primarily to the queer community. Additionally, a quick Google search can often identify LGBTQ+ events happening around your city, including parades, networking events, and small local coffee gatherings that are open to the public.

4. Volunteer at LGBTQ+ Organizations

Another quick and easy way to make queer friends in person is to volunteer at LGBTQ+ organizations. Many LGBTQ+ focused organizations have both in-person volunteer opportunities as well as remote opportunities. You can help with everything from fundraising, to assisting with political campaigns, to helping host LGBTQ+ events in your hometown. All of these will expose you to multiple new people in the queer community.

5. Be Open

Lastly, the most important way to make queer friends is to be undeniably yourself. Most people in the LGBTQ+ community do not prefer to spend their time around those who are fake, put up a persona, or try to be someone they are not. Being in the LGBTQ+ community means accepting and loving who you are and being able to be open with those around you.

Additionally, you have to be able to appreciate new identities and perspectives as well. Make an effort to fill the gaps in your own understanding and realize that no two people – even those who share the same sexuality or gender identity – are the same.

Conclusion

If you are feeling lonely and looking for queer friends, there are a multitude of ways to accomplish this, both in-person and online. Regardless of whether you’re living in a small town with very few other queers or a big city with a large LGBTQ+ community, there are opportunities out there for you. Just make sure to be open, loving, and most importantly, yourself.