6 Ways to Make New Friends as a Queer Adult -

Making real, lasting friendships can feel impossible once you’re a tad older. Where do you even meet potential BFFs when you’re a busy, grown-up person?

I’ve been there, trust me. I remember feeling lonely and wondering if I’d ever find my people.

But I’m living proof that you absolutely can make amazing new friends as a queer adult.

Below, I share best tips that have worked for me over the years. Let’s take a look.

Tip #1: Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

This was the hardest for me. As adults, we love our routines. Stepping outside our comfort zones feels awkward and terrifying. But in order to meet new people and make friends, you have to take social risks.

Say yes to invitations that make you nervous. Talk to strangers instead of avoiding eye contact. Go to events solo and open yourself up to connections. I know it’s uncomfortable at first. But pushing past those fears is the only way to grow your social circle. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Tip #2: Take Up a New Hobby

Finding a hobby you’re genuinely excited about is such a great way to meet potential new friends. Taking a class or joining a club means you’re surrounded by people who enjoy the same activity as you.

That gives you automatic common ground. Maybe try a pottery workshop, golf lessons, a cooking class, hiking group, rec sports league – the options are endless. When you see the same people regularly doing something you love, friendships happen so naturally.

Tip #3: Volunteer in Your Community

Volunteering was a game changer for me. At animal shelters, food banks, museums, schools, places of worship, community centers – wherever you volunteer – you meet the most amazing people.

People who care about the same causes as you. Working together for a common purpose bonds you on such a deeper level. You make real connections while doing good. It’s incredibly rewarding. Even just a few hours a month can lead to lasting friendships.

Tip #4: Become a Regular Somewhere

Pick a cafe, brewery, bookstore, record shop, gym, park – anywhere you like hanging out – and become a regular. Go at the same times each week so you see familiar faces. Chat with the staff and other regular customers.

Once you’re a familiar friendly face, striking up conversations is so natural. Let friendships build slowly over time. Soon that spot will feel like a home away from home where everybody knows your name.

Tip #5: Reconnect with Old Friends

Thanks to Facebook and Instagram, it’s easier than ever to reconnect with old friends from school, past jobs, or your childhood neighborhood. Don’t let those friendships fade away! Send an old pal a message saying hi and suggesting meeting up.

Or even just liking and commenting on their posts helps keep your connection alive. Rekindling relationships that have history can be so nostalgic and comforting. It’s always worth seeing if that old bond is still there.

Tip #6: Accept Invitations

This was huge for me! Say yes when co-workers, acquaintances, neighbors, or anyone invites you to hang out. Even if you feel nervous or out of place at first, accept the invite and give it a chance. You never know who you’ll meet.

Some of my closest friends today are people I first met at parties, concerts, dinners, and other social events I dragged myself to. Putting yourself out there leads to connections you’d otherwise miss out on.